Letter from a Concerned Sister

While going through old files this morning, I came across this lovely gem. It may be a joke, but I make valid points.


May 14, 2008 

Attention: Mother 

Subject: Sesame Street: Unsuitable to be viewed by children as it teaches the Seven Deadly Sins through the actions and examples of its characters.  

It is with my sincerest concern that I put forth the following proposal. It has come to my attention that the popular children’s television program, Sesame Street, is not the sweet source of quality edutainment that it so seems. It is instead a hodgepodge of scandal and filth meant to corrupt the minds of our delicate American youth. Below I will outline how, while posing as bringers of the much needed knowledge of numbers and the alphabet, these jaded puppets are simultaneously teaching our impressionable youth each and all of the seven deadly sins.  

Officially listed by Pope Gregory I in the 6th Century, the Seven Deadly Sins, or the cardinal sins, is a classification of vices originally used in early Christian teachings to educate and instruct followers concerning the fallen or immoral man’s tendency to sin. The list is as follows: Lust, Gluttony, Greed, Sloth, Wrath, Envy, and Pride. As it is an obvious fact that we want our children to grow to become upstanding pillars in the community, teaching them to mimic these lowly sins at the young age that Sesame Street targets would be a mistake and an outrage.  

Each and every one of the Seven Deadly Sins, from Lust to Pride, is represented by a character of Sesame Street. The Count, with his shameless lust for numbers, constantly goads the children with a vampire’s craving to count all night long. The Cookie Monster, never without a mountain of cookies to shove into his mouth, teaches children that less is not more, there is not a time to say when, and moderation is indeed not the answer. The Cookie Monster is the very epitome of Gluttony. As for Greed, who better than Big Bird to show young people how to take over a show while preaching it is polite to share? Big Bird has become so competent at his vice that Sesame Street has become synonymous with Big Bird. He is even large enough to take over the majority of the street as he saunters down it. Oscar the Grouch teaches children to eat and live in the garbage. Never bathing, Oscar takes pride in his sloth and the general stench that comes from it. The vice of wrath is held by Bert as he frequently takes his anger out on Ernie even though the two are supposedly the closest friends on Sesame Street. Zoe, one of the smallest of the puppets, is constantly seen in a woefully envious state of various characters, especially Elmo, who is equally tiny but far more accepted and notably more adorable than her. Zoe even goes so far as to attempt to become best friends with Big Bird, the obvious leader of the pack, in more than one occurrence in order to gain some type of status. The vice of Pride is, without a doubt, held by Grover as he proclaims himself Super Grover, complete with cape, and continuously introduces himself with a jaunty sentence confessing his fuzzy cuteness.  

These disrespectful characters have thus far gotten away with their plan to damage the integrity of the growing minds of our not yet adolescent children, but no more.  I propose that the viewing of Sesame Street be banned from the children of the Holley Household, especially one Christianna Holley. If she is going to one day become President of The United States of America, she must be brought up on upstanding programs that are not saturated with the lewdness of the Seven Deadly Sins, for instance The Ninja Turtles.  

Thank you, 

Jaimi-Lynn R. Smith 

Concerned Older Sister of Future President Chrisitanna M. Holley  

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